white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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