If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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