Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
