bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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