If i come over, it means nothing
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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