I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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