Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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