it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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