his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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