Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The air taste purple.
Randomize
