her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
