erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I did not marry a roomba.
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