Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
