He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
