It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
