I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
