first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
