At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
