i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
