Nicole vs. Life
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
