He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Green mimosas i think yes
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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