She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
