I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
