That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
