so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
