Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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