Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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