my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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