NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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