One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
