Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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