So drunk its hurt
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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