Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
