I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
