i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
