My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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