We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
