then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
