he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
