And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
