She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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