I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
