I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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