I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
