White coat. Heels.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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