I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
