I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
