I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
is that a dick in a sweater?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
