these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
