Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
