new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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